Friday, September 15, 2006

The Rule Of Law

It looks as if Sudan is finally responding to international pressure to respond to civilized norms and to improve its record on human rights. The Sudanese National Commission for International Humanitarian Law has just announced an agreement to work with the International Committee of the Red Cross “with a view to ensuring that the rules of humanitarian law are duly incorporated into domestic legislation.”

Of course, skeptics will question whether the Khartoum government is serous about joining the Axis of Niceness or getting their legal system up to the level of North Korea or Zimbabwe. Restarting a 21 year-old civil war in the south of the country and murdering 200,000 people in Darfur does present a bit of a public relations problem. These guys have even managed to get Kofi Annan upset with them and The Kofer has threatened to call for a UN Commission to Worry About Sudan as soon as the Ritz-Carlton Hotel, Santa Lucia is completed in 2009.

In order to counter accusations that the Sudanese legal system is out of step with modern jurisprudence, the boys from Khartoum only have to point to the case of Mr Alifi’s goat.

Mr Tombe, a neighbour, apparently noticed that Mr Alifi had a goat (there is no claim that Mr Tombe actually said “ee-i-ee-i-o”). There is a claim, however, that Mr Tombe got to know the goat in question in the Biblical sense

According to Mr Alifi, he heard a loud noise around midnight on 13 February and rushed outside to investigate. He claims, "When I asked him: 'What are you doing there?', he fell off the back of the goat, so I captured and tied him up". Having discovered the accused in the act of goatus interruptus, Mr Alifi did what any law-abiding citizen would do; he decided to let the law take its course. As a result, Mr Tombe has a new wife and Mr Alifi has pocketed a very nice dowry. It is not clear if the goat has gotten used to wearing a burkha yet. "We have given him the goat, and as far as we know they are still together," Mr Alifi said.

Sources in H I’s Sudan Bureau at the Khartoum Khorner Khebab Shoppe in the Kentish Town Road, North London have revealed additional facts about this case. It is claimed that Mr Tombe decided to have his way with the goat because Mr Alifi’s camel had a headache. At the trial, Mr Tombe was offered the choice of marrying the goat or becoming a suicide bomber. After being informed that he could not substitute 72 sheep for the standard 72 virgins after he arrived in paradise, he agreed to make an honest goat out of the goat. Speaking through a translator, a good natured Mr Tombe said, “it’s not all that bad…most of the women in this village are real dogs.”

The Speaker of the Arab Parliament, Mohammad Jassem Al-Saqer, has urged the UN not to enforce resolution 1706 which calls for an international peace keeping force to prevent genocide in Sudan’s Darfur province. He may have a point.

After all, mass murder, forced migration, starving millions, lack of medical services, and the total destruction of all means of life support might not be pretty to watch. But how can anyone really get upset with a country that makes it illegal to get someone’s goat?


Anonymous dv said...

I liked that - a shaggy goat story! Makes a change from doggy style.
Well done Tanvir

8:30 AM  
Blogger Jay McGinley said...

Day 105 24/7 DC VIGIL for DARFUR; Day 35 HUNGER STRIKE (54 days so far this summer, with breaks); ARRESTED Sept 9th at White House with 29 others from Africa Action;


It is said that the mark of truly being “crazy” is expecting different results from doing the same thing over and over and…. Ok, we needed to try some new approaches, hoping we could find a new formula for mass social change (stopping Genocide has NEVER been done); looking for an approach that would be comfortable, convenient, safe, executed from our computer terminal / phone / TV or office in some combination. The variations we’ve tried are: * Blame (Bush, UN, EU…) , * Emails, letters, postcards…,* Letting the Nonprofits do it, * Divestment. And the results are in. WE ARE NOT, STOPPING THE GENOCIDE!

You mean that the answer for Darfur is the same answer we found for…* Ending the Vietnam War, * Gaining Civil Rights in the US, * Gaining Women the right to Vote in the US, * Ending apartheid in South Africa, * Throwing off the British oppression at our start....?

Yup. No one else, nothing else can stop it, can save 4,000,000 in Concentration Camps in Sudan and Chad. The buck stops with WE-THE-WORLD’S-PEOPLE. Let’s stop talking and start - marching, demonstrating, sitting-in, hunger striking….

The next step is September 17th (; BUT, then we need to be ready on SEPTEMBER 18th, 19th… AS LONG AS IT TAKES, WHATEVER IT TAKES.

Jay McGinley,

9:51 AM  
Blogger Ananke said...

Ewwwwwww!!!!!! I feel sorry for the goat. ;-)

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