Thursday, September 28, 2006

Do Not Collect $200

It is important for companies to keep their products updated and the folks who own the popular game Monopoly obviously realise that. Since it was invented in 1935, the basics of Monopoly have stayed pretty much the same. Properties, hotels, utilities and railroads, trips to jail, and the colour coded currency of the game are familiar to generations of players.

As of November, that will change. The railroads will be replaced by airports. New landmarks and addresses such as Times Square, Waikiki Beach, the Golden Gate Bridge, and Rodeo Drive will appear. Monopoly money will be reissued in higher denominations. No one except peasants in Bangladesh thinks taking the trouble to ‘Pass Go’ is worth a lousy $200.

Monopoly fans have been invited to participate in this exercise and will get to vote for their favourite landmarks and where they appear on the game board. (Announcing the results of this election in November will give the 87% of Americans who couldn’t care less about which time-servers are elected to Congress something to get excited about.)

In the spirit of innovation, H I is happy to suggest a few updates to the popular Chance and Community Chest cards that make the game so much fun.

Go directly to jail or pay a lawyer $400,000 and write a book.

Take a flight from JFK and miss 93 turns waiting for take off.

You have come second in a beauty contest. Pay $17,000 for plastic surgery.

You have become a jihadi. Blow up the hotels on Times Square.

You have had a bad day. Sue the player to your left for $2,000,000.

Proceed directly to Go and collect $47.32 after taxes.

You have no imagination and six teeth. Win $150,000,000 in the lottery.

Get a permit to build a hotel on Waikiki Beach. Slip a politician $90,000 under the table.

You have been diagnosed as psychotic. Donate all your money to Scientology.

If you own both energy companies, rig the accounts and get $87,000,000,000.

You don’t have as much money as you want. Blame the player to your right.

Spill your drink and demand compensation from the banker.

What better way to have a fun family evening and introduce the kids to the lessons of modern life.


Anonymous aquielunari said...

Now THAT would be a true update of Monopoly! ;-)

12:29 PM  
Anonymous J said...

so true...

3:50 PM  

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