Monday, July 11, 2005

A Lost Cause

It seems that all or most of the Funda-mentalcases that perpetrated the London bombings survived the blasts. They could be travelling around the UK at this moment looking for another chance to create havoc. If so, they are likely to be watching the telly and reading the newspapers for news on their ‘great victory’. They are just as likely to be a bit disappointed. Commentators and editorial writers are praising the common sense of Londoners and the generosity and acts of heroism that were shown in the aftermath of the bombings. Memories of the Blitz are used as examples of the willingness of common people to come together to do what is right and to win against the odds. The weekend is over, Somerset soundly defeated Leicestershire in County Cricket and people are back to work. The message to the cowardly bastards who killed and wounded so many, and those who would come after them, is clear: the British do not surrender.

The bombers might expect her Majesty’s Government to immediately make a wife’s infidelity a crime punishable by stoning to death. They may hope that camel racing (in which the jockeys are kidnapped 6 year-old Pakistani boys) is taken up as the new countryside sport. They might want a new a state religion that gets Sid and Nigel and Tracy and Gemma to go to church and pray five times a day. (The current state religion is pretty happy if they go to church to get baptised, married and buried.) But if the bombers manage to see the local news, they might realise what they are up against. If these Islamo-whackjobs do try to push Britain back to the 14th Century, they are sure to be nibbled to death by ducks.

The ducks in question live in Portsmouth, England and six days a week for the past 15 years they have benefited from the generosity of three of the other inhabitants of that fair city: Beryl Stewart, 73, Betty Crisp, 75 and Sheila Lucas, 56. Every day except Sunday, in all seasons and in all weather, Beryl, Betty and Sheila have met at 6:45 in the morning, each carrying a loaf of bread. Every day, for all those days, they have taken the bread down to the lake at Hilsea Lines and fed the ducks. Since they live in England, these good ladies are not required to wear all-covering burkahs when they visit the ducks. Nor are they required to get the permission of a male relative to visit anyone at all. They did, however, run into the long arm of the law. They ran afoul of the Portsmouth city Council. Acting on a complaint of littering, the Council sent an enforcement officer to wait in the lakeside bushes to apprehend the three criminals. The officer in question was not equipped with an untrimmed beard and a Kalashnikov; he did have a notebook and a ball-point pen, however. After informing the ladies that they were breaking the law he told them that they were subject to a £60 fine if they persisted. Since arguing with a Council mullah is not punishable by being stoned to death in Britain either, Beryl, Betty and Sheila basically told him (in the nicest way possible) to piss off.

After a review of council procedures, which are a bit less strict than strict Sharia Law, the rulers of Portsmouth announced, ‘We are not against bird feeding and these ladies can continue. However we are concerned that the amount used was excessive and might attract rats and vermin.’ Obviously the London bombers are not welcome in Portsmouth.

So, to those intent on trying to force the United Kingdom to change, H I is happy to send a message: Piss Off…and mind the ducks.

9 Comments:

Anonymous Anonymous said...

We went to Marble Arch on that terrible Thursday and saw armies of people walking home. There was no complaining, no fear, just men and women getting on with it.

The list of victims demonstrated yet again what a multi-cultural society we have become. We love our city and our way of life. We are a tolerant and peace-loving people. No bloody bastards will change that.

Kitty Teltscher, London

1:06 AM  
Blogger Africanuck said...

I have been rather struck with the difference between the attitude and media coverage of this, and that of the other attacks. No shrill panic, no rhetoric (except from Bush, who was quick to push for more war) but just quiet courage.

I've also been struck by the fact that the bombers may have been white and not Arabs, according to the press.

That they used military explosives and not homemade stuff.

And that oddly enough, there was a terror drill going on that dealt with the exact scenario that actually happened. (This according to the CBC website).

At the risk of sounding like a whacko, I'm reserving judgement over who was behind this until more information gets out there.

It doesn't change the pain of those who lost someone, or who will remain forever scarred by this.

5:12 AM  
Blogger Whymrhymer said...

Great take on the London bombing and the ducks!! The duck story is great!

Just waiting now for the Scotland Yard announcement about the latest ?arrests? perhaps and the ID on the bus bomber. Rumors on FOX indicate that the four bombings were suicide bombings -- sounds Moslem to me!

Just a thought on the "peace-loving, quietly courageous" people of England. Loving peace and having quiet courage will NEVER stop this type of nonsense. If you had a choice between more bombings (someone in your own families might be hurt or killed next time) and more war -- what's the better option.

To my mind, it's a no-brainer!

10:59 AM  
Blogger Amal said...

I have to tell you that I am staggered by the courage shown by Londoners and the British populace in general. No hysteria, no jumping at shadows. Just a stoic determination that life will go on as usual.

Now, as to the morons who think sending us back to the 14th century is good: I am all for the death penalty.

As an immigrant (I moved to Canada when I was 3), I have always always said, if you want to live the way you did in the "old country", you should have stayed there. Most of us who immigrate do not do so to stay the way we are but to integrate and better our lives.

Your post is great!

11:28 PM  
Blogger birdwoman said...

re: british stiff upper lip and all that - as my husband recently blogged - they're not undefeated at home since 1066 for nothing.

re: the portsmouth three - BIRDWOMEN, all of them. Good on them!

(*)>

12:56 PM  
Blogger iwasfixin2 said...

I think your piece on this horrible act of terrorism enacted upon the people of London and the UK was admirable. The ducks helped me to understand (more) the type of people that the terrorists hope to kill, disrupt and humiliate. You always paint your stories very well.

But I also have to take issue -- not with you somuch -- but with Africanuck. By my reading of his/her comments, he/she could not just take the opportunity to discuss the nature of the post, he/she had to step-up and use it as an opportunity to slam Bush.

Well, *that's* original. Mr./Mrs./Ms. Africanuck seems to have difficulty in believing that Muslim extremists were responsible for the attacks on Londoners, but has no hesitation in asserting that Bush is a warmonger. I contend that this person understands neither... the nature of Islamic terrorism or Bush. Not that he/she is not entitled to opine in excessive oblivion about these or any other issues, but I just grow so weary of the 'stick your head in the dirt' mindedness.

I am not from the UK. I have only been there 3 times. I have a few friends who all emigrated to the U.S. from the U.K. But from my limited exposure I can offer that I have a difficult time believing that the contemporary Englishperson *understands* the lessons of the Great War the way that someone who lived thru it does (anymore than an American, German, Russian, etc.). Towit, it adds nothing in a positive sense to portray the average citizen of the U.K. with near superhuman traits and qualities when, as-yet, very little of it has been displayed. Even today, the "proof is in the pudding". And the pudding from the London press these days is reeking of an expired shelf-life.

The English are by no uncertain means 'pacifists' and I believe that they will continue to rise to the occasion of their opposition.

But as of yet, for those keeping score at home, the U.S. has been steadfast in defending a much greater area of land and borders from further attack, while England has not been as successful under the helmsmanship of PM Blair, despite his assignment of British troops to Iraq. There are reasons for this, both systemmic and annecdotal. But in the final analysis, the average taxpaying citizen would say that the best captain of the teams being represented seems to be George W. Bush. Be that as it may, and as much consternation as it may cause.

10:54 PM  
Blogger Abby Taylor said...

Who is the better leader? The CEO of Enron or the CEO of Worldcomm?

1:12 AM  
Blogger Aginoth said...

A Rambling good post :o)

From global terrorism to Ducks in a few paragraphs, excellent.

Blog-Rolled you


(PS: Yay Somerset!)

3:05 AM  
Blogger Africanuck said...

Bush is a warmonger.

My comment was based on Bush's comment where he used what happened in London to justify his "War on Terror", which is oddly enough taking place in a country which had nothing to do with any terrorist attacks, at least not until he went in there and gave them the perfect training grounds coupled with the perfect recruitment arguements.

Extremism, Islamic or otherwise, is nothing more or less than a tiny percentage of the population who are generally being led by the nose by those whose real goal is political power, or power period, which they then use to force their generally unpopular views on the rest of the moderate population.

6:25 AM  

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