Monday, April 04, 2005

I Do, We Do

September-September marriages have a very good chance of being successful. When the prospective bride and groom are in their 50’s or 60’s they can draw on life’s experiences. Although passion and emotion might fuel the relationship, compassion and reason can add to the liklihood of success. Family and friends can be supportive if for no other reason than Fred or Susie won’t be dropping by so often for a beer or Sunday dinner. Such a wedding ceremony has every chance of being a happy event – unless your names are Chuck and Millie.

Charles Windsor asked Camilla Parker Bowles to marry him some time ago. Charles’ full name is Charles Philip Arthur George Mountbatten-Windsor, aka His Royal Highness The Prince of Wales, His Royal Highness The Prince Charles, Duke of Rothesay, Duke of Cornwall, Earl of Carrick, Baron of Renfrew, Lord of the Isles, Prince and Great Steward of Scotland. Camilla does not seem to mind that Charles has more aliases than a professional cheque forger. In fact, Mrs Parker Bowles seems to fancy Charles as much as he fancies her. They deserve a happy life together. It’s the little problem of the ‘Mrs’ that has oversahdowed the event planned for 8 April . (Make that 9 April as there’s now a state funeral in Rome on 8 April.)

Wedding planning is an exciting time for any bride-to-be. First is the question of where to get married. Plan A: The big cathedral in the city was out; too many memories for the groom. There was also the question of having a low key celebration. 700 Lords-a-Leaping, 950 Ladies-in-Waiting, the entire Household Cavalry, the Welsh Fusiliers, and two companies of the Royal Horse Artillery might have been noticed, even in London traffic. Plan B: Fortunately the groom’s family owns a very decent chapel in one of the family castles, St Geroge’s at Windsor. Unfortunately the Church of England decided that it could not officiate at the wedding of its future Supreme Governor to a divorced woman. There was also the problem of the license; not for the bride and groom, but for St George’s. If this couple could get married there, any couple could get married there. Before long, Windsor Castle would look like the Marriages R Us chapel in Las Vegas.

Plan C: People in England don’t have to get married in church. Anyone can go down to the Register Office in town and have a civil ceremony. Anyone, that is, except Charles. The Acts of Parliament that established and confirmed civil marriages (1836 and 1949) specifically excluded members of the royal family. Plan D: In a lot of ways, Scotland is a separate country from England with different laws. Why not jump into the Rolls, and do the dirty up north? Actually it looks a bit odd for the future King of England to make a run for the border to get married. Of course he is also the future King of Scotland but there’s that messy Act of Union (1703). Plan E: It’s back to the Register Office in Windsor after getting the Lord Chancellor, the Lord Chief Justice and probably the Lord High Executioner’s view that it’s legal after all.

The Poet Laureate is preparing a suitable verse to celebrate the grand occasion. John Bain, aka Atilla The Stockbroker, Poet Laureate of the Brighton and Hove Albion football club is madly iambic pentametering. Meanwhile, although the Queen Mother-In-Law has not sent Camilla to the Tower, she will also not be attending the ceremony.

There is a clear message in this complex story that bears remembering. Ladies, be extremely careful when selecting your frog. If you kiss the wrong one, he might turn out to be a prince.


Blogger Abby Taylor said...

They are postponing the wedding? Can Charles get an extra day rental on the tux?

2:00 PM  
Blogger Clublint said...

I loved the cheque forging reference.

Gave me the giggles.

Personally I think people should just leave them alone.


9:41 PM  
Blogger B said...

iambic pentametering... my, how you turn a phrase :-).

10:56 PM  
Blogger Africanuck said...

I too think that people should just leave them alone. It should be pretty much obvious to everyone that after all the time that they have been together they two of them are soulmates.

While I had a great deal of sympathy and admiration for Princess Di, I kind of have to feel sorry for Charles as well, since he probably has spent that past 30 regretting not having married Camilla when he could have. Apparently, Mommy didn't think she was suitable though.

I'll bet the Queen has probably also regretted taking that stand too, when you look at all of the negative publicity that has been generated over the years. Had he married Camilla in the first place, they would probably be a staid boring old married couple who never made media waves.

2:21 AM  
Blogger eebahgum! said...

A witty and eloquent reflection. Keep up the good work.

I have been amused/disturbed this week by the radio callers who have, with all seriousness, been complaining that the timing of the Pope's wedding was an insult to the British Monarchy.

11:44 AM  

Post a Comment

<< Home


Humor Blog Top Sites